Consistently Wrong
Hillary Clinton had this great line about George Dumbya Bush on "Meet the Press" this past Sunday. Tim Russert said something about how Republicans are claiming that what people should admire about Bushie is that he's consistent and strong, so Hillary said something like, "Yes, but he's consistently wrong."

She makes a great point. What's the benefit of being consistent if you never take a moment to reconsider your position, even when it's been pointed out or proven to you that you're wrong?

I think that the way Dumbya pronounces the word nuclear is symbolic of his inability to ever admit that he's wrong. He has certainly been told that the word is NOT pronounced "nucular", but he will never change his pronunciation because that would be like admitting that he's been wrong.

Personally, I find it disturbing and scary that a man in the office of President of the United States has an attitude like this. It just seems like he'll never back down on an issue, not because of a strong moral compass or even a complete conviction, but simply because he can never admit to being wrong (at least not without some tenuous excuse that actually places the bulk of blame elsewhere).

On another note, I would normally take umbrage with the fact that the G.O.P. is appropriating 9/11 as a symbol of Shrub's presidency, but in actuality that tragic day is completely emblematic of his entire administration: a horrific disaster of death and destruction. Has our nation ever been such a lightning rod for the world's fear and hatred as we are now? That ought to breed many more generations of future terrorists for us to deal with. Fortunately, I watched the Italian news last night and they were showing the New York protests for the Republican convention, so at least people around the world should already know that there are many of us here who do not support Dumbya, his cadre of evil men, or their policies.

Oh yeah, and his wife, Pickles, was defending him today by touting him as a warrior. First of all, I'm not inclined to consider a warmongering persona being a good thing as much as that of a man of peace. She's so proud of her warrior hubby who did everything he could to avoid being an actual warrior during the Vietnam War, yet here he is 30 years later with the power to send others to that very fate that he escaped: being maimed, scarred, or killed. All of this to protect the profits and financial interests of huge multi-national corporations. Don't let him fool you into thinking his war was about making a pre-emptive strike against Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction, or to stop him from committing further crimes against humanity among his own citizens. If there wasn't American money involved he wouldn't have lifted a finger to help those people, or our own.

Have I asked this lately, "What happened to the hunt for Osama bin Laden?" I guess when Georgie-Porgie switched his manhunt from Osama to Saddam most people forgot that Bush-Daddy's old nemesis wasn't the one who took down the World Trade Center towers. The Bush administration should be working the old shell game at a cheap carnival.

A sensible message from a religious website!
Those of you who know me may be surprised to see that I'm directing you to a religious website, but I can't resist. This site, Sojourners, has a great message about God not being a Democrat NOR a Republican. They rightfully point out that priests, pastors, and ministers of all denominations should stop telling people how to vote (mainly for Bush), and they back it up with reasons why, not the least of which being that nobody has the right to speak for God. Check it out!

The Strangers With Candy wrap party
I went up to New York on Saturday with my friend Trixie to attend the wrap party celebrating the completion of the "Strangers With Candy" movie. We started with a few frozen cosmopolitans beforehand at g lounge and then continued on to Splash for a beer or two, so we had a nice buzz on by the time we got to the party at Luke & Leroy at 7th Avenue and Leroy Street at around 9:30pm.

We had a lot of fun. Besides the regular cast of characters, a couple of the movie's guest stars, such as Philip Seymour Hoffman and Justin Theroux, were there too, even though I didn't get a chance to snap any pictures of those two.

Here are some shots from the party:

• Evelyn McGee (Stephen Colbert's wife, who played Nurse Chestnut in the original pilot, Noblet's mother in "To Be Young, Gifted, and Blank", and Clair Noblet in the SWC movie), with Maria Thayer (Tammi Littlenut)
• Tammi Littlenut and I get "the look" from Principal Onyx Blackman (Greg Hollimon)
• Tammi Littlenut and I get "the look" from Principal Onyx Blackman (Greg Hollimon)
• Stephen Colbert (Chuck Noblet) and Greg Hollimon
• The moment of Amy Sedaris's late arrival
• The SWC movie's cinematographer Oliver Bokelberg ("The Station Agent") with Stephen, Paul Dinello (the film's director and Geoffrey Jellineck), and Amy
• The very tall Chris Pratt's (Brason) head got cut off in this one because it was too dark in the place to line up a shot. but I compensated in this shot.
• Me and Chris Pratt (of TV's "Everwood")
• Me and Amy Sedaris -- #1
• Me and Amy -- #2
• Greg got the dancing started--as always--with Christine, a member of the wardrobe crew
• Annie (a crew member), Liz Fagan, and me
• Me, Paul Dinello, and Matt Lappin
• Janeane Garofalo with Paul
• Me and the new Derrick Blank, Joseph Cross


Posted by tonylagarto at 2:57 PM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, 4 August 2004 3:39 PM EDT
Share This Post
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink

Stroke of Irony
Last week my mother had what the doctors called a mini-stroke, which actually sounds like the name of a place where you could play some putt-putt golf. She's doing fine now, but it was still scary, not knowing whether it was just a prelude to something more serious.

When I'd gotten home from work that evening, before I'd received the news of my mother's hospitalization, I'd found a package from amazon.com on my doorstep. Inside the package were some DVD's that I'd ordered a short time before; one was "Die, Mommie, Die" and the other was "Six Feet Under": The Complete Second Season. Fortunately, though, my mommie didn't die and end up buried six feet under. Out of all the DVD titles that I could have ordered, the ones that I selected over a week earlier just happened to fit the day's theme as though part of some quirky design.

It wasn't until the next day that I'd remembered another bizarre stroke of irony. A few days earlier I'd created this Wacky Packages-inspired parody of Lucky Strike cigarettes called Likely Stroke.

This just seemed like one of those times when you see irony and coincidence too many times for it to be just another ironic coincidence. Anyone who doesn't think that God has a sense of humor just isn't very observant.

Mr. Dinello, I'm ready for my close-up
So, did I mention that the stars, writers, director, and producers of the "Strangers With Candy" movie asked me to come up to Bayonne, New Jersey, to do a cameo in the film? I went up on Thursday, the 8th, and visited the set, then returned on Friday to be in the big Teachers Lounge scene. Of course, Flatpoint High being as crazy as it is, the teachers lounge is an actual lounge, complete with alcohol, cigars, and a cocktail waitress.

Paul Dinello is doing a great job directing the film. Both days that I was on set I had my own monitor to watch the scenes as they were being filmed and everything looks great on screen. There are some hilarious lines: many that will be familiar to fans of the show, but used in new contexts, and a whole bunch of new ones to memorize and repeat over and over and over.

I wasn't expecting to get a dressing room, the other extras were kept in what is called the Extras Holding Room, which is nowhere near the stars' trailers, but they really gave me the star treatment. I saw the names "Mr. Boswell & Tony" on the dressing room door and wondered who this Boswell person would be. It was a nice surprise to find out that it was David Rakoff. He is really funny in person and so easy to talk to. He said that he's supposed to have his follow-up to "Fraud" submitted to his publisher in September, but he feels like he won't be finished in time. (Stephen and David Rakoff later said that "Mr. Boswell & Tony" sounded like the title of a 1970's TV show.)

I am completely confident now that my scene will NOT end up on the cutting room floor. It's a pivotal scene and I am standing behind Sarah Jessica Parker, so there will be, at the very least, a flash of me here and there, even if they don't use my close-ups. Plus, this is the scene that introduces Matthew Broderick's character.

When Paul Dinello first saw me in my wardrobe he said that I looked like a shop teacher, so that's what I considered myself: Buster Highman, Shop Teacher. Matt Lappin (Writer, script coordinator, assistant to the director. What doesn't he do?) said the same exact thing, independently of Paul, when he first saw me. Unfortunately, Todd Oldham later told me that someone had told him that he too looked like a shop teacher, so I came up with a compromise and suggested that I was metal shop and Todd was wood shop. This pleased Todd because he'd already decided to hold his drink, in the lounge scene, with his middle finger bent with the tip hidden.

Matthew Broderick seemed a little reserved and serious for much of the day, but he had many lighter humorous moments too. I had a few very brief conversations with him and he was nice enough to make a point of coming over to say goodbye before leaving for the day.

I'm totally in love with Sarah Jessica. Amy had told me beforehand how nice, genuine, and funny she is, but since they're very close friends it goes without saying that Amy would feel that way. There was a chance that SJP would be different with an outsider, but she was everything Amy said she'd be. When Amy told her that I'm the webmaster of jerriblank.com she said, "You do that all by yourself?" which led me to believe that she's familiar with the site. I instantly felt as though I'd known her for years. She meets so many people, so she probably didn't think much of it, but they were great moments for me. We ended up having a great political discussion with David Rakoff and Matt Lappin, and we also talked about alternative medicine (she thinks that much of it is quackery), and she also told cute stories about her son, who loves anything to do with police. She and Amy clown around SO much behind the scenes and on set between takes. You can tell that working with either one of them will always be an enjoyable experience. But for the amount of fun that they have, they don't waste any time and get the job done. Sarah J nailed her lines and was extremely funny. She's got this amazing glow. She reminds me so much of my friend Sonya in Connecticut, which probably added to the sense of familiarity; that and the fact that I've been watching her on TV and in movies since the early 1980's. I loved her show "Square Pegs", which took place in a high school--I was in high school at the time--so I find it a bit surreal that when I actually did meet her it was in a high school 20-something years later.

Having craft services (the food catering on a television/film set) is like being on a cruise ship. I made a point of avoiding the food the first day because I didn't want to make a pig of myself, plus I was just visiting and not working that day, but on Friday I took full advantage of their bounty.

And last, but certainly not least, the producers asked me to do the "official" movie website, for which I'll actually get paid, provided that the distributor doesn't insist upon having control over the website themselves. I may actually have an official role in the history of SWC after five years of doing it for my love of the show and as a resource for its fans.

It's been quite an adventure so far...

Madonna's Re-Invention Tour
Madonna does it again with her Re-Invention Tour. Last night's show at DC's MCI Arena was so AWESOME!!! I always use my experience at her Girlie Show Tour as the standard for other concerts to live up to, and this is the first one that I've enjoyed as much in the past 12 years! This is also the first time that I've EVER been at a concert in which the entire audience stayed on their feet for the entire show (except for the two or three slower songs). Usually, it's been my experience that people only get up for a few random songs and almost always at the end, for encores. Not this time.

There was such positive energy all around. She had a big smile on her face throughout the show and halfway through she said that we were the best audience she's had so far (I've asked my friends Lisa and Leslie to let me know if she says the same thing tonight). Her voice is stronger than ever. I didn't detect a single sour note, as I usually do. The show started at around 8:40pm, which isn't bad considering how late the Drowned World show started three years ago. I was in heaven for the full two hours, which seemed to fly by so quickly. I'm tempted to go down there tonight and buy a ticket from a scalper. Every song was pure joy. I also had the best seats that I've ever had for a big "event" concert. I wasn't expecting to be right down on the first level; for some reason I thought I'd be on the second. Bonus!

Pleasantly surprising Reagan comments...
I was REALLY late getting in to work yesterday morning because Reagan's motorcade was passing a block or two away from my office on its way to the National Cathedral. I love that he had to pass right through the Dupont Circle neighborhood (DC's Homo Central). I couldn't pass up the opportunity to have history pass by me (Reagans, Carters, Clintons, Fords, and the icky Bushes, who will hopefully fade into political history soon). Besides, I loved the 1980's, so it was a tribute to the decade for me. I wish that Ronnie's first wife, Jane Wyman, could have been there!

While watching the Reagan children deliver their remarks during the California services later in the evening, I was extremely pleased to hear Ron Reagan Jr. make some (what I took to be) thinly-veiled digs at a certain high-ranking Republican political figure who seems to think that he has been appointed by God (or that he IS God). I'm referring to George Dumbya Bush, for those of you who may be as dimwitted as he is.

Some comments, of course, are the kind of praise you'd expect a loving child to say to honor a parent, but others really make a larger statement about the current state of our Union. Here are the pertinent exerpts (I've bolded and italicized certain highlights that stand out for me):

He is home now. He is free. In his final letter to the American people, dad wrote, I now begin the journey that will lead me into the sunset of my life. This evening, he has arrived.

History will record his worth as a leader. We here have long since measured his worth as a man. Honest, compassionate, graceful, brave. He was the most plainly decent man you could ever hope to meet.

He used to say, a gentleman always does the kind thing. And he was a gentleman in the truest sense of the word. A gentle man.

Big as he was, he never tried to make anyone feel small. Powerful as he became, he never took advantage of those who were weaker. Strength, he believed, was never more admirable than when it was applied with restraint. Shopkeeper, doorman, king or queen, it made no difference, dad treated everyone with the same unfailing courtesy. Acknowledging the innate dignity in us all.

The idea that all people are created equal was more than mere words on a page, it was how he lived his life. And he lived a good, long life. The kind of life good men lead. But I guess I'm just telling you things you already know.

...

He was, as you know, a famously optimistic man. Sometimes such optimism leads you to see the world as you wish it were as opposed to how it really is.

...

Dad was also a deeply, unabashedly religious man. But he never made the fatal mistake of so many politicians wearing his faith on his sleeve to gain political advantage. True, after he was shot and nearly killed early in his presidency, he came to believe that God had spared him in order that he might do good. But he accepted that as a responsibility, not a mandate. And there is a profound difference.

Humble as he was, he never would have assumed a free pass to heaven. But in his heart of hearts, I suspect he felt he would be welcome there. And so he is home. He is free.

Those of us who knew him well will have no trouble imagining his paradise. Golden fields will spread beneath a blue dome of a western sky. Live oaks will shadow the rolling hillsides. And someplace, flowing from years long past, a river will wind towards the sea. Across those fields, he will ride a gray mare he calls Nancy D. They will sail over jumps he has built with his own hands. He will at the river carry him over the shining stones. He will rest in the shade of the trees.

Our cares are no longer his. We meet him now only in memory. But we will join him soon enough. All of us. When we are home, when we are free.

Separated at birth?
Have you ever noticed how much Avril Lavigne looks like "fake Jan" (Geri Reishl who replaced Eve Plumb as Jan Brady on the 1977 variety show "The Brady Bunch Hour")?

This post is for Rob Banaszak in Albuquerque, the one other person who may have had this same thought.

PBS's next period reality series...
PBS is currently airing "Colonial House", which started last night. On this show, a number of modern-day folks move to a makeshift 1628 colony in Maine and live within the constraints of the customs and traditions of those times, using no modern tools or conveniences. It's basically the same concept as the 2003 series "Frontier House" (1883, Montana Territory), 2002's "Manor House" (aka "The Edwardian Country House", in which one family lived the privileged life of Edwardian Era nobility, and another group became their servants), and 1999's "1900 House" (in which an English family returned to a 1900 lifestyle). These shows are like "The Real World" or "Big Brother", but thrown back in time.

I was wondering what period and setting they might use for the next series:

• "Hovel House" - Life in an early 1930's "Hooverville" or a dustbowl shanty town

• "Internment Camp House" - A Japanese-American family is treated to the hospitality of the WWII-era United States government
• "McCarthy House" - This show is kind of like "The Mole" set in the 1950s, but in this version the housemates all have to figure out who are commies and who are patriotic Americans (kind of like what the Bush regime is doing today)
• "Pre-Colombian House" - living the life of a Native American tribe, before the white man came along and spoiled everything
• "Roman House" - Life during the heyday of the Roman Empire, with some people representing the conquerors and others as the vanquished. The polytheistic society is threatened at every corner by upstart monotheistic religious groups like Zoroastrians, worshippers of Mithras, and members of an obscure Jewish sect, the Christians.
• "Prehistoric House (Cave)" - Welcome to Bedrock, 40,000 B.C.E. Watch out for those Neanderthals!
• "1970's House" - Probably the most difficult of all, being so close to modern times, but without computers, DVD players, VCR's, cell phones, video games, palm organizers, fashion sense... At least we had Wacky Packages!

Huzza cuzza whaaaa???
Tony's Top 10 explanations for what this woman is doing:

10. Blowing up Ricky, her inflatable imaginary baby.
 9. Doing the latest kind of fad liqueur shots at Namibia's hottest new club.
 8. She ran out of diapers, so she's using that old gasoline-siphoning technique she learned back in the late 1970's as a pre-emptive strike to clear out the baby's pooper.
 7. She's Uganda's greatest Jazz baby-bunghole player.
 6. Someone told her to close her eyes and French-kiss Christina Aguilera.
 5. CPR: Colonary Poohole Resuscitation
 4. Getting an Angola Spa facial.
 3. This is the Sudanese version of the Atkins diet.
 2. She saw the face and decided she'd rather kiss this end instead.
 1. What does it look like!? She's giving the baby a rim job.